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These 3D Super Mario 'humans' are going to haunt my nightmares

Scared Super Mario in front of scary 3D Mario model renders
(Image credit: Nintendo/Future owns)

It's March 10, otherwise known as MAR 10, otherwise known as MAR10, otherwise known as Mario Day! Yep, today marks the annual celebration of everyone's favourite moustachioed Italian plumber. A perfect day to ruin him for you, then.

Remember Super Mario Strikers? Us neither, but a data miner has just revealed some hidden files from deep within the 2006 GameCube game. These include renders of "generic Mario-style" humans that I'd happily never set eyes on again, thanks. (Want to hang out with real Mario? Check out the best Nintendo Switch deals available now). 

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Discovered by brilliantly named Twitter user Dogon McBanana, the renders (above) appear to depict a "unique team of sidekicks" that ended up not making the cut. The models aren't particularly textured or detailed – and that's what makes them so creepy. Indeed, they look like the "human" embodiment of a glitch in the Matrix. 

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Super Mario 3D renders

Please... (Image credit: Nintendo)
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Super Mario 3D renders

don't... (Image credit: Nintendo)
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Super Mario 3D renders

hurt... (Image credit: Nintendo)
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Super Mario 3D renders

me (Image credit: Nintendo)

"Probably cut because they all look like horrible b*stards," one Twitter user replies, while another adds, "Well that’s terrifying. Glad I already beat the game before finding out about this, it would have been hard to concentrate with these images in my mind." And as many have pointed out, the guy in the hat looks rather a lot like comic strip character Andy Capp (below) – who is very much not a Super Mario character.

Andy Capp and one of the terrifying 3D Mario renders

Yep, I can see it (Image credit: Reg Smyth)

So there we have it, another terrifying glimpse into the underbelly of the Mario universe. Like the secret under Toad's hat and inside Daisy's mouth, this one is yet more nightmare fuel. And just wait until you see Mickey Mouse from above

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Daniel Piper
Daniel Piper

Daniel Piper is Creative Bloq’s Senior News Editor. As the brand’s Apple authority, he covers all things Mac, iPhone, iPad and the rest. He also reports on the worlds of design, branding and tech. Daniel joined Future in 2020 (an eventful year, to say the least) after working in copywriting and digital marketing with brands including ITV, NBC, Channel 4 and more. Outside of Future, Daniel is a global poetry slam champion and has performed at festivals including Latitude, Bestival and more. He is the author of Arbitrary and Unnecessary: The Selected Works of Daniel Piper (Selected by Daniel Piper).